What does retired mean?

As you know I retired from running races and I was graciously inducted into the hall of fame. I am full of gratitude for this honor. I wanted to be the first women to do 10 Badwater races, however my last try did not turn out the way I had planned and dreamed about. I was taking Celebrex for my foot pain, out of shape and needless to say “the perfect storm” hit me. I spent 6 days in the hospital in Lone Pine, and accumulated an extra 38 pounds of fluid. I was one very sick person. After out of the hospital Sister Marybeth reminded me that I was the first women to do 10 Badwater races. One year 7 miles from the finish line I had to get an IV, I went back and finished the race but was NOF, as it should have been. Sister Marybeth asked me..”Who do you need credit from to be the first women to have 10 Badwaters?” This question hit me hard as it sunk into my heart. Did I need the credit of the race, would I give myself credit? Who had to give me the credit?? Sister Marybeth said, “God gives you credit Lisa, his credit is the only one that really matters”. WOW! She was right! I am the first women to do 10 Badwater races. God gives me credit and I give myself credit. Amen. A few weeks ago I went on a 10 mile walk . I was praying, meditating, crying and thinking about the big journey I am dreaming about in Death Valley this summer. Very few people know my plan but I am going to attempt the Badwater Quad. The missions Marshall Ulrich and I raise money for need our help. We have 7 missions that each have over 700 children. Four of them have NO water at all and the other three have broken water wells. Doing the Quad will be to raise money for water wells and clean water for all of these children. Anyone else want to help raise money? We need to raise $70,000. Dreamchasers Foundation! On my walk I started to think about the race and my EGO said “YES Lisa why not make your journey part of the race and GET the OFFICIAL 10th Badwater and have the credit of the race as well as God and yourself.” I started to laugh because as I was walking I said out loud, “NO”. Then (as we all have at times) my mind went back and forth, “Why not? Well because I retired. You can just finish the race, you don’t have to race the race…” HAHA. Will the real Lisa please stand up!! Ego is something we all have, I have tried for a very long time to leave mine at the door!! We all have ego and I feel at the age of 52 mine is a healthy ego. For so long my dream was to be the first women to complete 10 Badwater races. As an athlete or non- athlete I know all of you can appreciate the hard part of letting go of a dream, moving past it, and acceptance. I have not been able to let go of the fact that I don’t have completion. I have unfinished business. My life is about no regrets and no second thoughts… I would always have a twinge of regret about not making it “official”…. It would be a grain of sand in my shoe. I think that I may owe myself one last shot at the official 10th. This is not about EGO… this is about self-fulfillment. It is also about unfinished business. My personal goal was always to have 10 official Badwater races. I don’t have any desire to race any longer or to beat people. The desire to complete my goal of 10 is what I have not let go of. Let the training begin. I am honored that I will stand one last time at the starting line of the Badwater 135 with so many wonderful and amazing friends. My heart is full of gratitude!