Tuesday, May 18, 2010

God, Give Me Grace... in Memphis

Today we’re in the 24th location, Memphis Tennessee, on the journey of Running Hope Through America. We’re at the largest urban park development in the US, Agri-Center International.

It took 14 states to get into a rhythm and by the 20th state, in Louisiana, I thought I was in great shape. All my aches and pains went away, and it was a significant milestone that my family, team and I celebrated. I guess I was wrong…

Over the weekend I got hit with fatigue, pain – both emotional and physical. Now I have to dig deep into the well of my personal process that I thought had dried up a while ago, thinking I had everything figured out. So, I have to ask myself, “What else is there for me to learn?”

Sister Mary Beth says that this journey, for me, is like the last year of a nun’s novitiate. She says that it’s this year that tests you the most, and the year that shows how attached you are to your ego. “Ego? I don’t have any ego about this,” I said. But after thinking about it, I know she’s right…

People come out for a day, maybe they’re marathon runners that have done 20 or 30 miles, and they are so excited that they get to do their first 50-mile run with me.

My feet are killing me, the balls of my feet especially, my legs, and my hips. With people around I feel like I have to perform – I’m a professional athlete after all. If you’re up ahead of me, I have to keep up with you, if you’re behind me I need to stay behind. I want people beside me when if we’re running together. And, I don’t want them to see the pain that I’m feeling inside.

Someone said, “50 miles? How hard can it be?” People forget, this is not a 50-mile run, this is a 2500-mile run broken down into 50-mile segments. They also forget that I’m doing this almost every day. They get to go home, relax, watch a movie, be with their families and recover the next day. I miss my children a lot, and after a hard twelve-hour day of running when I need them most, I get to try and relax in a bumpy, uncomfortable RV without them.

So, because of all of this I need to be left alone… just for today. I know that I have to take this breath by breath, one foot in front of the other… just keep moving forward, with Love.

My friends from Trinity Cross, Brian and Coleen Rossi, came out to Dallas on Sunday. What a day that was! When he showed up in his wheelchair and reached out to put his arms around me for a hug he said, “I can feel your pain”. I said, “Brian, my legs hurt.” He said, “Mine do too.”

This 13 year-old kid has been through so much more than most adults, he really does understand. He says, “I don’t know why God chose me for this, but he did; and to do this Run, he chose you.”

So many children and people in the world are suffering, and they do it with dignity and grace. I feel like I’m not doing that well today, or yesterday. I’m not suffering with grace, I feel tortured. But, Sister Mary Beth is the divine force behind our effort. She’s amazing, and I’m so lucky to have her by my side. I truly don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here.

Our goal is a great one, $1,000,000 to save lives, feed children and make their lives better! I am most certainly grateful that people show up to run, it makes our effort come alive! But, PLEASE lovely supporters… remember this is a fundraiser! If you show up, please give something for the cause.

And… for the record: I never realized it was going to be this hard.

My orthopedist says that I can’t run today, or tomorrow… so I’m walking and jogging a little.

Thank you to all the people that support RHTA, please come and joint the race one day in your city if you can. Give what you can and show your support, help us to achieve a goal that will change the lives of thousands.




sharon s. said...

Dear Lisa,
This is NOT an easy journey, but it is your journey. Your body has been amazing, honor that so you will have the strength to keep going. Know that we love you. What you have done and the energy that you have created with this incredible project has been awesome. Listen to your body (and your orthopedist) and do what you should to take care of yourself.
Once again, sending you our love and good energy,

Colleen said...

Hi Lisa...thought I'd give you some Bob Dylan lyrics today. My Dad loved Dylan and I am growing to love him, too...

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young

Much love,


marieboyd said...

This was not going to be easy, you knew that going into it. Remember digging deep at Badwater, finding the strength to keep going, and then having the fortitude to adjust your expectations when it became apparent you needed to rest and regroup!
Thinking of you, and I hope we can connect telephonically sometime in the next couple of days.
Much love to you,

Anonymous said...

Lisa that was a beautiful post. You are my hero. I think of you all day long. I pray that your body will heal and that you will feel the love and the respect of everyone out there cheering you on. Good luck.
Liz Dalley

Anonymous said...

I agree with all the comments above.
We all pray that you will get over those tough hurdles… for the kids, for your family and for you.
Tomorrow - St. Louis, you have a great course around Creve Coeur lake (Creve Coeur=Broken Heart).
However, it is expected to rain for most of the day.
If you prefer that no one will run with you in St. Louis, please post that on runhope.com

Much appreciation and love,

TATUR Dave said...

Hey Lisa,
You are amazing. It was a privilege to run with you and Sr. MB in Tulsa. I am praying for God to give you strength.

I lift my eyes to the hills.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip.
He who watches over you will not slumber.
The LORD watches over you.
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm.
He will watch over your life.
The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
-- from Psalm 121

David Sargent

TATUR Dave said...

I looked at the title of your blog entry and thought of this song. It is one of my wife's favorites.

He giveth more grace
as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength
as our labors increase;
To added afflictions
He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials
He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted
our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed
ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end
of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving
is only begun.

Fear not that thy need
shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns
His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm
everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee
and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits,
His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary
known unto men;
For out of His infinite
riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth,
and giveth again.

Lynn B said...

It was good seeing you on Sunday in TX, I really enjoyed spending time with you and your crew. I appreciate how you are approaching this monumental task and pray for continued strength and revelation on your journey.

"I run in the path of Your commands, as you have set my heart free" - Ps 119"32

My best to Sister Mary Beth and the Michaels.

Lynn B